Separation Anxiety: Why It happens and gentle ways to ease it

How long does separation anxiety usually last?
Separation anxiety will usually pass with time. However, there are some things you can start doing to ease the wobbles and make separations feel a little more manageable for you and your little one.

Here are my gentle tips to help ease your little one’s separation anxiety:

1. Practice short separations often
   Start small—step into another room for a minute or two. These brief moments apart help your little one build confidence that you’ll always come back. Over time, you can build up to slightly longer separations.
2. Always say bye-bye with a smile
   As tempting as it is to sneak away, a calm and predictable goodbye helps your child learn to trust that goodbyes are safe and temporary. Even if there are tears, this consistency builds trust.
3. Leave them with familiar people
   Where possible, leave your little one with someone they already know and like—such as a grandparent, regular babysitter, or trusted friend. It’s much easier for them to settle when they feel safe with the person caring for them.
4. Create a special goodbye ritual
   A simple routine like two kisses and a wave, or saying “I love you, see you soon,” can bring them comfort. Repeating the same routine each time helps your little one feel more prepared for the separation.
5. Return as promised
   If you say you’ll be back in two minutes, make sure you are. This builds their sense of security and trust, making it easier to increase time apart as they grow more confident.
6. Play peek-a-boo
   Games like peek-a-boo can be more than just fun—they help babies understand that just because they can’t see you, it doesn’t mean you’re gone forever. It’s a gentle way to practice separation in a playful, low-pressure way.
7. Have a big smile on your return
   Even if you’re feeling nervous or guilty (which is totally normal!), try to show confidence and warmth when you return. If your child sees that you’re calm and happy, they’ll begin to feel the same way too. Sometimes you’ll need to fake it—but it really does help.
8. Chat about your plans together
   With older toddlers, it can be helpful to talk them through what’s going to happen. Let them know when and why you’re leaving, who they’ll be with, and what you’ll do together when you return. This kind of preparation gives them a sense of control and predictability.